Career Mission's Chief Executive Officer, A. Harrison Barnes, in a webinar discussed the role played by external sources in fostering conflict. Most conflicts are mistakenly believed to be created by two people. In reality however, there is usually a third person or agency who will instigate the whole matter for an entirely selfish reason.

You have probably experienced it for yourself; you have a friend or a group of friends you regularly spend time with. Now, if all of a sudden you go ahead and get yourself a girlfriend or a boyfriend, your friends who earlier had you all to themselves will definitely notice that you devote a considerable amount of time to your new relationship. This can prompt them to bring about conflict between you both, eventually causing a break-up so that the old order can be restored.

Motivations for creating such conflicts could be diverse – fear of losing a close friend to another person or being ‘forced’ to let go of someone on whom you have come to depend emotionally. At times, people around you may be so highly motivated that they will be willing to go any lengths to ensure they create conflict. This can include creating false rumors, fishing and passing on negative information and creating a divide large enough to eventually cause a break up. You need to be on your guard against people who are on the look-out for an opportunity to create conflict. Harrison believes that often, the causes of war and conflict are not what they seem. For this reason, it is important that when dealing with conflicts, you should look for the other person and identify the motives. Not only will this resolve the conflict, it could help you save your job or relationship as well.