While I am enjoying my appetizer tray of grilled salmon forestiere, chicken pâté, grilled calamari and prosciutto, and cantaloupe melon antipasto, I'll call ahead and book a king-sized room with a breathtaking view of Mt. Fuji at the Park Hyatt Tokyo Hotel, a steal at only 124,000 yen for the weekend. That's just $1,076, folks. It's the room I always demand—I love the décor, which is accented by rare Hakkaido water elm paneling.
Once we land at Narita International Airport, located about 60 kilometers outside of Tokyo, I'll take a limousine to the hotel, where I will need to spend my evening unwinding from such a stressful transpacific journey. The limo costs about 200 American dollars, and tipping is not part of Japanese culture, so I'll save quite a bit there.
The following morning, I, no doubt, will have to get up at the ungodly hour of 9:00 a.m. so that I can have a leisurely traditional Japanese breakfast of grilled fish, rice, miso soup, and Japanese pickles for about 500 yen—all of $4.35! After that has digested, I could grab a taxi to the Ginza, Tokyo's most exclusive shopping district. Little Keith deserves nothing less. But since it is only a 25-minute walk from the hotel, if the weather is not too cold, I'll do a little sightseeing on foot.
I'll have to let you in on a little secret. Browsing in the Ginza is really just an indulgence for me—I mean, I work hard all week and deserve nice things, too! I just can't resist dashing into the Kimono Gallery to pick up a Fukuro-obi ornamental sash. I can spare the 680,000 yen. $5,900 is a pittance to pay for something I will never wear.
As a tribute to the birth of Prince Hisahito, who is in line to become Japan's emperor, Ginza Tanaka has designed a rocking horse made of 24-karat gold. Modeled after a traditional wooden rocking horse, it has a seat smooth and comfortable enough for little Keith—I mean, Prince Hisahito—to rock on for hours on end. It is carved from a 30-kilogram (80-pound) block of gold and is reasonably priced at just 150 million yen. That's $1.28 million for you and me, plus the 5% sales tax. Ginza Tanaka only made one golden horse for his country's young prince but is ready to take on more orders. I want to be the first in line!
By the end of the day, I'll be ready for a taste of some American cuisine, so I'll enjoy dinner at the New York Grill on the 52nd floor of the Hyatt Tokyo. The floor-to-ceiling glass windows offer an incredible view of Tokyo at night. The cost of the 17,000-yen meal of freshwater lobster and foie gras translates to $148.00. However, since I am not a drinker, I'll avoid the cost of that exotic bottle of wine.
By the time I land back at LAX, where my still-BFF will pick me up and drive me to my door, I will have tallied up weekend excursion expenses totaling $1,360,593.30. So nice of Ginza Tanaka to throw in the cost of shipping the rocking horse to Dayton, OH.
This will be an Easter that little Keith—and American Express—will never forget.
